In a hotel room
It was so warm she carried her coat over her arm as she walked to the hotel. He had called two days ago and asked her to come to the hotel after work. She hadn’t seen him for months and was both pleased to see him as well as annoyed about being summoned like this. He never seemed to realize that she had a life as well.
The porter smiled and told her he recognized her from the last time. ‘Your brother is staying in No 415. He asked for some beverages to be served at the room. He’s having a coffee. Would you like some as well or would you rather have something else?’
‘I’d love a coffee.’
‘Regular coffee or a cappuccino or…,’ he rattled off the various kinds of coffee on offer.
‘A large cappuccino, thank you.’
‘My pleasure. In case you or your brother should feel hungry later, our restaurant opens in half an hour.’
She nodded and walked over to the lift. Going up to the 4th floor she quickly checked herself in the mirror. Her unmade face looked pale and the grey showed at the roots of her hair. It’s just your brother, she told herself, but she felt self-conscious all the same. She knew how much time and money her brother spent on his appearance. He knew far more about hair and skin products than she ever would. The lift stopped and the doors opened with a 'bing'. Her heels sank softly into the carpeted floor as she walked along the corridor. She easily found the room and knocked. He almost instantly opened the door for her and hugged her tightly.
‘You smell wonderful,’ she smiled as she disentangled herself. He gave her a boyish grin and they sat down on two luscious armchairs in a corner of his suite. After a few minutes there was another knock on the door and the room service brought their coffees. When the waiter had left, her brother put an expensive looking box on the table between them and offered her some macarons he had bought in France. Despite herself she took one and nibbled at it while trying to focus on his latest news. He first told her why he only stayed one day – another emergency at his problem-ridden latest project. Watching him, her mind quickly wandered and she caught herself admiring his clothes, a tailor-made blue suit, a light pink shirt and matching Italian silk tie. She was wondering whether he might have a personal shopper when she noticed that he had begun to talk about the break-up with his latest girlfriend. She immediately felt guilty and tried to listen more attentively again.
‘I realized, I wasn’t feeling truly close to her, and I knew it’d be better to be honest about it.’
Anna nodded and emptied two sachets of sugar into her coffee.
‘I’m sorry. I knew you liked her,’ he said.
There was no spoon on her saucer. Without asking she reached over and used her brother’s. After stirring her coffee, she placed the wet spoon on the crisply ironed, gleaming white table cloth and watched with a strange satisfaction how a dark stain formed. ‘I thought she sounded nice, but I never did meet her.’
‘You hadn’t met her yet? Oh well, that’s alright then.’ He quickly reached for his phone on the table, checked for messages, returned the phone and leant back in his armchair.
She drank up half the coffee in an effort to dispel some of the tiredness. Her brother took a macaron and they sat silently side by side for a while.
After they had finished their coffees, her brother said ruefully. ‘I know I’ve said it to you before, but I just don’t want to become closely attached to someone anymore. It hurts too much when you lose them.’
To his surprise his sister frowned and got up. Watching her as she walked over to the window, he added, ‘You know and understand that better than anyone else.’
His sister had opened the curtain a little and seemed to be looking down on the busy street in front of the hotel.
‘In contrast to you I never did get over Mum’s death.’
Still looking out of the window, his sister nodded. Then she glanced at her watch and turned to him.
‘I’m sorry, but I can’t stay. I’m feeling very tired and have a full schedule tomorrow.’
‘But you’ve only just arrived,’ he protested. ‘You haven’t told me how George is doing in his new job and what Marc and Josie are up to.’
‘They’re all fine,’ she said hoarsely, painfully aware of tears welling up in her eyes. She turned back to the window hoping he hadn’t noticed. But he was already by her side, putting an arm round her shoulders.
‘You alright, sis?’ he asked with that characteristic tenderness that she suddenly hated him for.
‘I wish you wouldn’t do that,’ she said pushing him away.
‘Wouldn’t do what?’
‘I’m a mother myself.’
Not comprehending her brother nodded eagerly. ‘Of course you are.’
‘And I think you’re so hard on her.’ Unable to contain her feelings, she cried openly now.
‘On whom?’
‘On Mum.’
‘On our mother?! – What on earth are you talking about?’ her brother asked narrowing his eyes.
‘Whenever you break up with somebody or when for some reason you feel sorry for yourself, you drag her from the grave and shake her bones in front of everybody – and I mean, everybody – telling all and sundry that she left you at a time when you were vulnerable which is why you are wounded for ever. As if it was her fault. As if she had choice!’
Stunned her brother took a step back.
‘How is she supposed to find peace with you going on like that? I know I wouldn’t, if I knew my children behaved like that after I have gone.’
Breathing hard now, her brother looked like he would like to slap her. She locked eyes with him and said quietly, ‘I’ve been meaning to say this to you for years now: I wish you would allow her to leave us. So that she can finally rest in the true sense of the word.’
After a tense silence her brother said coldly, ‘I believe, you said you wanted to go home.’
‘I did, didn’t I?’ Anna said and waited for her brother to say something in reply. When he didn’t, she picked up her coat from the bed. ‘When will I see you again?’
‘I don’t know yet when I’ll be back in town again. I’ll let you know.’
She walked slowly to the door. ‘I see. Please do let me know and come round to our house then. George and the kids would love to see you,’ she said more pointedly than she had intended and opened the door.
He didn’t say good-bye and put away the box with macarons. The door closed with a soft click.
After staring blankly at the room door for a while, he reached for his phone and checked his diary. Although the meeting with his sister had not gone well, it had been over so quickly that he might be able to make good use of the remaining evening. Now he had ample time to go to the hotel’s large fitness area. He cheered up a little. He could work off his anger, do a tough work-out and leave all of this behind him. He got up and changed into his gym clothes.
The porter smiled and told her he recognized her from the last time. ‘Your brother is staying in No 415. He asked for some beverages to be served at the room. He’s having a coffee. Would you like some as well or would you rather have something else?’
‘I’d love a coffee.’
‘Regular coffee or a cappuccino or…,’ he rattled off the various kinds of coffee on offer.
‘A large cappuccino, thank you.’
‘My pleasure. In case you or your brother should feel hungry later, our restaurant opens in half an hour.’
She nodded and walked over to the lift. Going up to the 4th floor she quickly checked herself in the mirror. Her unmade face looked pale and the grey showed at the roots of her hair. It’s just your brother, she told herself, but she felt self-conscious all the same. She knew how much time and money her brother spent on his appearance. He knew far more about hair and skin products than she ever would. The lift stopped and the doors opened with a 'bing'. Her heels sank softly into the carpeted floor as she walked along the corridor. She easily found the room and knocked. He almost instantly opened the door for her and hugged her tightly.
‘You smell wonderful,’ she smiled as she disentangled herself. He gave her a boyish grin and they sat down on two luscious armchairs in a corner of his suite. After a few minutes there was another knock on the door and the room service brought their coffees. When the waiter had left, her brother put an expensive looking box on the table between them and offered her some macarons he had bought in France. Despite herself she took one and nibbled at it while trying to focus on his latest news. He first told her why he only stayed one day – another emergency at his problem-ridden latest project. Watching him, her mind quickly wandered and she caught herself admiring his clothes, a tailor-made blue suit, a light pink shirt and matching Italian silk tie. She was wondering whether he might have a personal shopper when she noticed that he had begun to talk about the break-up with his latest girlfriend. She immediately felt guilty and tried to listen more attentively again.
‘I realized, I wasn’t feeling truly close to her, and I knew it’d be better to be honest about it.’
Anna nodded and emptied two sachets of sugar into her coffee.
‘I’m sorry. I knew you liked her,’ he said.
There was no spoon on her saucer. Without asking she reached over and used her brother’s. After stirring her coffee, she placed the wet spoon on the crisply ironed, gleaming white table cloth and watched with a strange satisfaction how a dark stain formed. ‘I thought she sounded nice, but I never did meet her.’
‘You hadn’t met her yet? Oh well, that’s alright then.’ He quickly reached for his phone on the table, checked for messages, returned the phone and leant back in his armchair.
She drank up half the coffee in an effort to dispel some of the tiredness. Her brother took a macaron and they sat silently side by side for a while.
After they had finished their coffees, her brother said ruefully. ‘I know I’ve said it to you before, but I just don’t want to become closely attached to someone anymore. It hurts too much when you lose them.’
To his surprise his sister frowned and got up. Watching her as she walked over to the window, he added, ‘You know and understand that better than anyone else.’
His sister had opened the curtain a little and seemed to be looking down on the busy street in front of the hotel.
‘In contrast to you I never did get over Mum’s death.’
Still looking out of the window, his sister nodded. Then she glanced at her watch and turned to him.
‘I’m sorry, but I can’t stay. I’m feeling very tired and have a full schedule tomorrow.’
‘But you’ve only just arrived,’ he protested. ‘You haven’t told me how George is doing in his new job and what Marc and Josie are up to.’
‘They’re all fine,’ she said hoarsely, painfully aware of tears welling up in her eyes. She turned back to the window hoping he hadn’t noticed. But he was already by her side, putting an arm round her shoulders.
‘You alright, sis?’ he asked with that characteristic tenderness that she suddenly hated him for.
‘I wish you wouldn’t do that,’ she said pushing him away.
‘Wouldn’t do what?’
‘I’m a mother myself.’
Not comprehending her brother nodded eagerly. ‘Of course you are.’
‘And I think you’re so hard on her.’ Unable to contain her feelings, she cried openly now.
‘On whom?’
‘On Mum.’
‘On our mother?! – What on earth are you talking about?’ her brother asked narrowing his eyes.
‘Whenever you break up with somebody or when for some reason you feel sorry for yourself, you drag her from the grave and shake her bones in front of everybody – and I mean, everybody – telling all and sundry that she left you at a time when you were vulnerable which is why you are wounded for ever. As if it was her fault. As if she had choice!’
Stunned her brother took a step back.
‘How is she supposed to find peace with you going on like that? I know I wouldn’t, if I knew my children behaved like that after I have gone.’
Breathing hard now, her brother looked like he would like to slap her. She locked eyes with him and said quietly, ‘I’ve been meaning to say this to you for years now: I wish you would allow her to leave us. So that she can finally rest in the true sense of the word.’
After a tense silence her brother said coldly, ‘I believe, you said you wanted to go home.’
‘I did, didn’t I?’ Anna said and waited for her brother to say something in reply. When he didn’t, she picked up her coat from the bed. ‘When will I see you again?’
‘I don’t know yet when I’ll be back in town again. I’ll let you know.’
She walked slowly to the door. ‘I see. Please do let me know and come round to our house then. George and the kids would love to see you,’ she said more pointedly than she had intended and opened the door.
He didn’t say good-bye and put away the box with macarons. The door closed with a soft click.
After staring blankly at the room door for a while, he reached for his phone and checked his diary. Although the meeting with his sister had not gone well, it had been over so quickly that he might be able to make good use of the remaining evening. Now he had ample time to go to the hotel’s large fitness area. He cheered up a little. He could work off his anger, do a tough work-out and leave all of this behind him. He got up and changed into his gym clothes.